“Such is life in Malawi”

Very sorry I haven’t updated in a few days…I know that some of you have already heard about the difficult week we have had, and I have really struggled with what to say and what not to say in this post over the past couple of days. But, I do want my friends and family to be aware of what is happening and how to be in prayer. This post is my journal entry from Monday evening.

(Monday, June 28) “I am struggling to find the strength to even write tonight. Today was one of the hardest days, not just of this trip, but also in my life up to this point. I woke up early this morning to what I thought was my alarm ringing. When I looked closer at my phone, it was Bruce calling. I did my best to wake my brain up in order to answer, and when I did, he told me that he was standing outside. I quickly found the keys to start unlocking my way to the front door. When I opened it, I immediately knew that something was very wrong. I went to him and asked what had happened and he then reported the most awful news. He could hardly speak. He explained that Gertrude had been taken back into the theatre room for surgery sometime around 12:30 a.m. last night to deliver the baby by c-section, but he did not survive. My heart felt like it had collapsed. Cindy heard the commotion and came out to where we were in the yard. Bruce was unable to tell the story again and asked if I would deliver the news. (We have now learned that the nursing staff at the district hospital did not tend to her in time. She was in labor too long, which caused distress to the baby. He was born breathing, but with much trouble, possibly due to Meconium asphyxia. He went to be with the Lord shortly after.)

My memory of this day is already blurry and mushed together. My mind and heart have been going at such a crazy speed all day that I find it almost impossible to reflect on what has happened. I am still in shock…At this point, we came inside, Cindy and I changed, and then we headed to the hospital. It is customary in Malawi, that if you experience the death of a baby, you must return it to the village for a proper burial as soon as possible. Gertrude was very groggy from medication, but we spoke to her for a brief time before gathering her mother, grandmother, and aunt into the car to transport that sweet baby back to Madzanje (our village). Getting in and out of the car, I had to hold him so that the older ladies could climb in/out. It was an indescribable feeling. Absolutely crushing to know I was holding a lifeless baby that was so precious to all of us already, but through God’s grace my heart found peace at that moment knowing that he was being held in the arms of our Savior.

After arriving in the village of Gertrude’s family, we started trying to understand what would happen next, culturally. The baby is buried as soon as the father’s family arrives. We took Gertrude’s mom and her best friend Evelyn back to the hospital to see her while we changed our clothes and got ready for the funeral. When we arrived back, once again to the village, the baby was being prepared. Only the elders in the family are allowed to see the child before burial, so we waited outside for the procession to start. In this culture, after the death of a baby, only the women travel to the burial cite for the funeral. So when it was time, we tearfully made our way down a path that led to a tiny graveyard in the woods. We sat on the ground for a while, after one of our ladies said an opening prayer. Afterwards, the women began clearing an area and digging the tiny little grave. Cindy was able to read from Psalm 121 and she did a great job communicating to these women about where we can find our help. After the grave was ready, they summoned Cindy and I to come closer. We were confused. Our translator then explained that the elders wanted us to be able to see the baby’s face. This is a huge honor here, one that I wasn’t sure I wanted to receive. Before, when I held him, he was covered. To see his precious face was… I’m running out of adequate words. He was so sweet and looked just perfect…the greatest combination of his mom and dad. That image will never ever leave my mind. After they finished the burial, we walked back to the family household where the men were. I will never forget it. It was such a helpless feeling. It was the hardest thing, to leave B mourning like he was.

We are now just sort of numb. We are on edge, knowing the risk of infection or clot or other complication for G, considering the conditions of this hospital. We need prayer for discernment and wise decision making from here on out. We have just returned from visiting them at the hospital. She was talking more and seemed to be doing alright, considering all that she has been through physically and emotionally today.

I can’t describe to you how this affected my heart. I love this couple so much. I cannot remember, truthfully, the last time that I have felt this way, if ever. There is an overwhelming sense of responsibility on all of us… like we could have or should have done something. The negligence of the nursing staff along with the poor conditions of this hospital is something far greater than frustrating.“

BUT…The Lord is still good.

Today (Wednesday), it has been three days. There have been really hard times, but we have also found strength in the Lord, no doubt. Gertrude seems to be improving despite the carelessness and laziness of most of the nurses in the ward. We discovered that her incision had not been examined since the closing of the surgery on Sunday. Bruce made a comment today, as we were discussing these things that broke my heart… he said, “Such is life in Malawi.” How sad? It shouldn’t be this way. (Anyone feel a calling to medical missions in Malawi?) We were, once again, faced with anger towards these people. I know anger isn’t the right thing to say or feel, but it’s the truth. So many little things are constantly overlooked; it is almost unbearable. Despite their negligence, our Lord has been taking care of her. Her blood pressure was good, she only had a bit of fever, and her incision was actually looking pretty good. She was able to take a few steps today and even sat up in her bed for a bit. Thank-you Jehovah Rapha. Both of their spirits were up; their strength is unbelievable. Thank-you to all of you who have been in prayer over this tragedy. We appreciate it and so do Bruce and Gertrude. PLEASE continue. We gave them a big list of many prayers and loving support from America today. Gertrude wanted me to say thank-you very much to you all.

Bruce asked me to take this picture in the hospital yesterday. It breaks my heart. Please continue to pray for our sweet Gertrude, as well as Bruce.

Ok, here is the deal. I am not a good journal writer. Never have been and, despite the deep desire I have to be a good one, I have accepted that I probably never will. Trying to write in a journal AND a blog overwhelms me and so here is how it is going to happen today. I am copying and pasting my latest journal entry. I am going to retract very little, so I am sorry if you didn't wish to get so personal with this trip, ha! I am also sorry for anything that may offend you. I tend to be a bit blunt on occasion ;) (You don't need to ask Ray Stewart to comment on this please) I can't promise that you are going to marvel at my great attitude, but I do promise that it's honest! ha...

This entry is from Friday -Sunday (June 25-27)

"Still no baby! I am getting so anxious for Bruce and Gertrude's baby to be here!

Friday we were able to sleep in a bit and then decided to walk around the boma (the city), just to explore. It was quite fun. We walked into random stores, and despite the constant “azungu! azungu!” (white person) we had a good time. We ate at a local restaurant, “Dear Mamas,” which is also the place where we purchase our eggs and chicken. It was good and we got a HUGE plate of food for about 3 dollars U.S. Shortly after lunch we met up with Bruce- who was in town taking care of some things/ visiting G at the hospital. We had a nice time walking and talking. Later on, we drove out to E.H… actually, Derek drove. We decided that he had better get some practice in, just in case of an emergency. He did good. We had a nice dinner- something like tacos- and we watched the Blindside before heading to bed. It was nice to have a relaxing day. It seems like every two days, we have to spend an entire day fixing something. It's Africa, I get it- but I would just rather spend my time else where. If we ever get the geezer (hot water) working, I don't think we will know what to do with ourselves!

Yesterday we woke up, got ready, took some milk to the hospital for G, and then Derek and I were dropped off at E.H. while Cindy went to Balaka with Naomi to negotiate some price about an element. It was such a fun day… because we were at the orphanage all day, of course. We got to sit in on the Bible lesson that the kids have on Saturday’s. We ate lunch with them. I was able to get some serious Zach (Jo and Evelyn's baby) time in which I loved, and I had a really great time visiting with Stanley, Evelyn and the whole crew. It was a fun day. (I think I said that already) We tried to show the Jesus Film to the orphans and widows, but it stopped working half way through- of course. So we will finish next Saturday and I will be able to share my testimony.

When we got home, after a quite tiring day, we had visitors on our front porch… (I retracted my feelings here about always having random visitors appear on our porch). It was Pastor Kuzala and his wife…quite an interesting little chat. I am honestly too tired to remember most of it, but I am sure that some meeting or trip was set up knowing the Malawians. Ha. All in all, it was a good day. Looking forward to more good days in this place I have grown to absolutely love.

Today (Sunday), we had plans to visit Abusa (pastor) Sakwiya’s church. Wasn't so excited about it... wish we could just go to Madzanje Baptist again. I love love love worshipping with the Malawians, but I hate being the skeptical- it is so disruptive and awkward. So, every time we visit a new church, we have to go through the whole awkward introduction thing again. So many times a day, I want to make this my introduction,

"Hello! My name is Alyssa and, why yes, I do have white skin!"

Anyways, like I said, our PLAN was to go to church at 10 a.m. in Sakwiya's church, and be on our way home by noon. REALITY was that we arrived at 10 a.m., and were then informed we were going to witness a special ordination of a local pastor-to bishop. Ok, no problem. Five hours later (no, I'm not exaggerating) we left the ceremony. Problem. Not just five hours of wonderful, worshipful, church... five hours of a traditional ceremony in a language we do not understand. It was FREEZING cold- not to mention the ant hill that our chairs were directly above! (Ok, now you know I can whine with the best of them). All whining aside, I should be appreciative of the warm and friendly hearts of our Malawian friends. We learned a lot and it was a nice thing to experience... once!

Being that our day was almost over once we arrived home, we are going to chill for the rest of the night. George is coming over to look at the geezer again and I suppose we might make a trip to the hospital to triple check that there is no baby yet.

I am having such a blast. I love this place, these people, my team, and my Lord who is allowing me to experience such a wonderful thing. It is a hard thing to explain, my emotions. I can't imagine giving up my family and friends to come here full-time. That thought is painful. But the thought of leaving this place and my family here is equally painful. I don't understand how my heart can feel so divided. All I know is that July 29th is going to be one of the hardest days I have ever experienced.

Tomorrow we have plans to meet with all of the guardians for our non-residential kids. It is important that we are all on the same page. We need their support. We need them to encourage their kids to be faithful to the program. It should be a good day. I am looking forward to it. Finger's crossed that tomorrow will be the day we meet baby Chilijembumba!"

Gertrude has been sleeping on the CONCRETE floor since she has been in labor (since Thursday)! PLEASE pray for her. Poor thing. It is customary here that you do not receive a bed until you have your baby. Can you imagine?

LONGEST POST EVER! I hope you like the pictures! HAPPY SUNDAY EVERYONE!

What's a post without a picture of these favorites?!

This picture is from a while ago... I took a whack at pumping water like Malawians have to do multiple times a day. I got through a bucket and a half. HA

I love this picture... water is so precious here.

How beautiful is this place? I love it. The only thing is that the clouds move the wrong way!

This is Stanley and Bruce after we got a new bike for the ministry! They were very excited. We made two trips to the capital this week (Lilongwe). One with the chief and the other with these guys to run some errands and pick up the vitameal for this month. It was a lot of fun.

One of my favorite parts of the latest LLW trip was being able to learn about Feed The Children. I was able to meet Jim Campbell- head of FTC-Malawi and we were also able to see their warehouse! Unfortunately, this is the only picture I'm allowed to post. It was so neat to learn about how this ministry works.

My team :)

And this is just a picture I like. I was taking pictures of the kids and all they would do was hold up their empty bowls. It is at one of the feeding centers where the kids receive vitameal from Feed The Children.

Ok, I must warn you... there will be no pictures with this post :/ I am posting from a different computer tonight and don't have access to my pictures. We have had a very nice day in Ntcheu today. We had a major prayer request answered in the way we had hoped. It lifted our spirits and we are looking forward to a very busy, but good, week.

This morning we got up bright and early to visit two secondary schools near Esther's House. One of the things we provide to our non-residential orphans in the program is aid with school fees and uniforms. So, this morning we had to pay school fees for 5 of our kids. It was a neat experience. We were able to see a glimpse of what school life is like here and we were also able to meet the head master of one of the schools. There are many things that are different in the U.S. when it comes to high school, of course, but I am always amazed at the similarities I see with kids all around the world. The rest of our day was filled with paperwork, a trip to the German orphanage, a quick trip to Esther's House :), and movie night with my team over dinner. .

Speaking of the German orphanage... I'm not positive if I have written about this yet, but meeting the people from the German orphanage (not far from our house in town) has been one of the greatest experiences. Alex, one of their directors, has been so welcoming and friendly. They have been up and running for a number of years and have been so incredibly helpful to us, in our early stages. I won't go into their full story now, but they have around 50 children residentially and are a self-sustainable orphanage... which is huge. Anyways, the Lord has reminded me over and over this week about how awesome it is to be a part of the body of Christ. Anytime the Germans have a surplus of anything, they are immediately reaching out to us. Here we are, across the world practically, and we have family here looking out for us.

Yesterday, we were able to go to church in Madzanje with Bruce & Gertrude, Joseph & Evelyn (our caregivers), Isaac & Precious, and Stanley. It was such a sweet time. I am always amazed at how wonderfully the Spirit moves, even in a setting where we can hardly understand a word that is spoken. We were worshipping with the body of believers, our family again. I have truly grown to love these people. They hold a special piece of my heart already...

We could use your prayers tomorrow as we will be traveling. Actually, it seems that we will make a couple different trips all in this week, so safety on these roads is a definite request. We leave early in the morning for Lilongwe with T.A. Kwataine (our district chief). He and Cindy have a couple of meetings to attend in the city. We are getting closer and closer to being ready to interview new orphans for Esther's House! So please pray that all goes well this week. I feel like we have a bazillion meetings... Malawians are all about their meetings! This is a VERY crucial week so your prayers are much appreciated.

A big thanks to those who stuck it out through this dreadful post lacking pictures!! Thanks so much for your prayers and support. I promise to fill my next post with plenty!

Alyssa

So, I have officially been in Ntcheu for 8 days! I love this place. It is hard to describe what I think of the time that has past so far. On one hand, it feels like I have been here forever. But on the other hand, I feel like it is flying by. Things are busy right now and we are getting a lot accomplished (I feel like anyways). We took Josh and Kristen to the airport yesterday and I think that is all I am going to say about that- sore subject. I wish they could stay...

In other news- we arrived back in Ntcheu yesterday from a short trip to Blantyre (biggest city in the country). We had a couple of meetings to show up for and also had to get some things at GAME, which is the closest thing to Wal-Mart… We were able to stay the night with Daniel and Natalie Gregory who are in Blantyre as independent missionaries. They are from Oklahoma and so we definitely enjoyed each other’s company. We had a nice lunch before heading home this afternoon.

So much has happened since I last wrote, so I will try to give a quick recap with pictures.

We were able to meet the widows this past week and were greeted with a VERY warm welcome. There was a lot of dancing and singing taking place! They are such sweet ladies- many of them care for multiple orphans each (including some of our non-residential orphans).

Here are our kids! These children are in our non-residential program and are so happy. You can definitely see the impact Esther's House is making in their lives.

We were able to go out into the village with our kids one day and I thought this was a good picture of what we saw.

One of the highlights, for me, of our trip so far was being able to visit our local feeding centers. When I say local... I don't necessarily mean local. Some of our feeding centers are in very remote areas so it was pretty cool to be able to see. My idea or expectation of these feeding centers was quickly changed when we arrived- it is simply a large pot over fire in each village. The community is responsible for providing the pot and then each child responsible for bringing their own bowl and utensil. They are fed vita-meal from Feed The Children. It is fulfilling such a need and it was wonderful to see these children being able to eat something substantial.

Here is a picture of some of our kids in the non-residential program! They are wonderful. They LOVE taking pictures. We have already taken 5 children to the doctor (Kristen hates when we use the term "doctor" I should say "men with a 'degree' in clinical medicine") However, it is so much more than most kids get. Two of our girls tested positive for Malaria this week and now, because of receiving medicine, they are back to normal!

And, last but not least, here are a couple of pictures of Isaac and Precious.

I love this one :)

Good-bye for now! My teammates are calling me names for taking up too much internet time and our electricity can't decide what it wants to do :)

Muli bwanji from Africa!!! We are finally here and I can honestly say that it was worth the two-day travel, huge ankles, and the horrible Ethiopian food on our plane! God really did bless us in our travels, though. We missed no flights, had no missing luggage and only one long layover. It was long nonetheless and It was SOOO nice to see Josh and Kristen at the airport in Lilongwe- I don’t know how we would have survived these first few days without them. We got into Malawi on Tuesday afternoon and by the time we gathered our luggage (8 trunks and 4 suitcases) and finished a few errands, it was dark and we were unable to travel to Ntcheu. While in Lilongwe, the capital city, we were able to eat pizza and it was delicious… as to my expectations anyways. We ran some errands to get a few things that we are not able to get in Ntcheu and spent the night at the Logonot Guest House. The first night was pretty rough, sleep wise. I was exhausted but still woke up about every two hours. Any who, the next day we did a few last errands in the city before heading to the house!

The drive was beautiful. Malawi was on one side and Mozambique on the other with beautiful, big mountains on each side. Getting to the house was so exciting! We all really felt like we were home. After taking a tour and settling in a bit, we got to take our first trip out to Esther’s House. I could have cried I was so happy to see that place. I got to hug the boys for the first time and I melted from the first moment. It is so evident that the Lord is doing something special in that place and I am so excited that I get to have a front row seat for the next two months. I am still in awe that the Lord picked me for this! We have had a great time so far and have gotten a lot accomplished. I could go on and on about the friendships I have already begun to build and everything I have seen and experienced, but I will quit with the wordiness for now! Up at 5 in the a.m.!! Enjoy the pictures!

Abbie sent these huge coloring books with me for the boys. They loved them! They each colored 2 complete pages while we were there tonight!

Can you believe how cute?

Below they are watching a message video on my ipod :)

This is really happening!

God has given me an incredible opportunity this summer and I am excited to share it with you, my friends and family. I am leaving in the morning for an 8-week period to serve in Malawi, Africa with Esther’s House Ministries. As you may know, First Baptist Springdale and The Church at Pinnacle Hills have started many ministries in Malawi. With a population of 13.5 million, Malawi has approximately one million orphans. This is heart breaking! Over the last couple of years, God has really directed my heart and focus towards missions in general, and more specifically, working with orphans. This is the deal of a lifetime for me. I will be there June 6-July 30. These eight weeks I will be involved in developing a children’s program for Esther’s House Orphanage, working in the local feeding centers, helping teach English, and doing discipleship. I am so excited to see what the Lord does through this experience.

We are supposed to be getting Internet access in the house that I, along with my two teammates, will be living in. However, things work on a different timetable in Malawi, so we will see! Hopefully, I will be able to update you on our work every so often through this blog. I do ask for your prayer. I would be so grateful to have your support in that way this summer. Feel free to share the blog with whomever, we can use all the prayer and support we can get!

Some specific requests at this time are as follows:

• Prayer for safe and smooth traveling both ways. We have a long trip ahead of us tomorrow!! (Northwest, AR --- Dallas, TX --- Washington D.C. --- Rome --- Ethiopia --- Malawi --- Ntcheu!)
• Prayer for our team to be united and have an easy time working together.
• For my mother’s stress levels :)
• Prayer for doors to be opened and for relationships to be built with right people.
• Prayer for strength and that my personal relationship with the Lord would not take a place on the back burner, but that it would grow and thrive through this experience.
• Ultimately, I would ask that you pray the Lord is able to work in and through our team this summer in a major way… that we are able to clearly see what He is guiding us to do.

Thank-you so much for already giving your support, even at this point. I am so blessed and cannot wait to share this blessing with you all.

Anxiously, Alyssa